He knew the pressure was on. Valentine’s Day was coming, jewelry stores were advertising diamonds for the one you loved and he knew she said she needed a new clothes line. Diamonds or clotheslines. The thing was he was not even sure which one she would want! She wanted a soldering iron for Christmas but was disappointed when the silk scarf in the front window of Day’s Departments Store was not in the package. The poor man was clueless.
He was beginning to think it was a test. When she said grass seed what she really meant was dinner and a movie. The fact that he didn’t see the connection was his problem. She knew he was smart and should be able to get it right. Then there was the time when she asked for what she really wanted and he didn’t purchase it because she never really wanted what she asked for. His sisters just laughed when he tried to find out how to be a husband and his mother, who taught his wife everything she knew, raised an eyebrow and told him to pay attention.
Now the Valentine’s Day crisis was approaching again…it happened every year much to his dismay. He developed a rash and started coming home late. What was he going to do? Grown men had run away but he didn’t think they did that when they really loved their wives. Most men learned to expect to disappoint their wives. They even made a game of it. He, on the other hand, was willing to believe that some wives loved clothes lines just as much as diamonds. There had to be a logical answer he told his friends. They just grinned. They thought he was clueless too.
When the day arrived, he woke in the morning and greeted his wife with a cup of coffee in bed. He handed her an envelop. It, he knew, would be the perfect gift, the one she could not turn away. When she opened it she saw the words I love you and a hundred dollar bill. The perfect gift at last.
His mother was so proud, his sisters were amazed and he was a happy husband. He knew she liked it because he saw the look in her eye before she protested and tried to give the money back. He almost reached out to take it but, as it turned out, he was not as clueless as they had all originally thought.
Happy Valentine Day.