This is the speech I will give for the Mother Day Button Award…I am sure it will be coming in the mail any day now.
Dear Family and Friends,
I thank you all for gathering here today to honor ME of all people I understand that the Mother’s Day Button is for my many accomplishments. I really don’t know how I can possibly thank all those people that were there for me along the way.
First of all I will need to thank my husband…he has provided many years of support and never did call me to task for the burned dinners and the pink socks and underwear. He knew I was busy raising three children and would not have dreamed of making my job harder. Thank you dear husband.
I will need to thank my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, nieces, nephews and poor Aunt Olive’s and her husband Jeremiah for being related to me. After all the fact that anyone came to this occasion is a wonder and without them I could not have had a large enough crowd to not be embarrassing. Aunt Olive can ride back home with us after the awards. Uncle Jeremiah got into the wine so he will be riding the bus.
The reason for my Mother’s Day Button Award
I will need to thank my children for growing up…I am so grateful that you did not fall out the oak trees or burn down the house with the lighter and the airplane glue. I am particularly grateful that my youngest son is alive and functioning after cutting the cord to the clock with the metal scissors. We could have been parents to a twitching child and I am fairly sure that the award for the Mother’s Day Button would not be mine today. My oldest son gets a special thanks for locking himself in the trunk of our car and inviting his baby brother to join him. I would have never know how the trunk lock worked with out him. My skills as a mother increased greatly on that day. I am also grateful that no one ever knew that I yelled occasionally or even slammed a door or two. Thank you children for never ratting me out!
I would also like to thank the person at the grocery that looked away as my child peed on the floor in the middle of a potty training exercise. That sort of thing would not have made me look good and so I am glad that no one told on me. The fact that I too ignored it and simply walked out of the store could look bad on the award application form. I am sure the person that thought I deserved the button did not include this information.
I would also like to thank the person at the service station that filled a can with gas and lugged it to my car because I was carrying a baby and had two other children trailing behind. A mother’s day button is not awarded to a woman that runs out of gas with three children and a small dog in the car. I am sure enough time has passed that no one recalls the incident so we will not bring it up here.
To all those that have stood in awe of my parenting skills…I thank you for you silent reverence. I know that I do not deserve your admiration. After all I am a mere human and even though my skills are many, I am not that special after all.
I will treasure my button always and will wear it with pride. I do understand that it can not be returned…much like my children. It is mine forever!
for Sunday Scribbling #226: I Would Like to Thank You!